“Just love yourself” is a phrase that has gained quite a lot of traction in recent years among influencers and advertising campaigns on social media. However, isn’t it ironic that these very same social media channels also promote content and products that may not have you feeling so in love with your body? This is especially true with summer looming, as the pressure to look a certain way gets even worse as hemlines rise with the temperatures.
Let’s be honest: Trying to “love the skin you are in” can be so hard when we are constantly bombarded with messages about how we should look, how we should feel and what we should purchase. Not only that, but it’s all too common to receive feedback from others on our appearance — which is more often than not unhelpful and even hurtful.
Personal stories
If you have experienced unwanted comments about your appearance from others, know that you are not alone. I reached out to readers to see what types of comments they have received regarding their bodies — here are just a few responses.
“You are so skinny, why don’t you eat?” (said to a young female in her 20s)
“You look so thin!” and “How did you lose so much weight?” (a “compliment” to three female readers who had lost a significant amount of weight due to serious illness)
“Don’t you think you’re not really the right body type for that dress?” (said to a woman who had gained weight due to depression medication but still wanted to wear a more fitted style)
“Geeze — you’ve gotten fat!” (said to a male in his 30s who had gained weight after a knee injury made it difficult for him to be active)
“You don’t look like a size 6 to me” (said to a woman who wears different sizes depending on the brand)
“You can’t wear black — you’ll look even skinnier” or “You should wear black — it will make you look smaller” (said to young women with different body shapes)
Unfortunately, people of all shapes and sizes have probably heard similar comments at some point in their life. That doesn’t make it okay, but it does mean that you are not alone in your journey.
Maintaining a positive body image: 4 practical tips
So, how do we maintain a healthy body image when we are constantly bombarded with information, tips and comments on how we “should” look? Here are a few practical tips to consider.
Find a strategy for dealing with comments from others.
Whether the comment is positive or negative, hearing the thoughts of others about our appearance can feel uncomfortable and even jarring. This is especially true if you have an eating disorder or if you are trying to gain/lose weight for health purposes.
Unfortunately, it’s not possible to eliminate these comments altogether. However, we can proactively find a strategy to deal with them when they are uttered. For example, you can choose to simply ignore the comment and change the subject. Alternatively, you can try a more direct approach by politely letting the person know that comments about your appearance make you feel uncomfortable and that you’d prefer not to receive comments like that in the future.
Unfollow social media accounts that are triggering negative feelings for you.
If someone is consistently posting images or content that makes you feel bad about yourself, consider putting some distance between yourself and them, at least for a while.
Author Tyler Henry wrote on Twitter in 2018, “You can’t heal in the same environment that made you sick.” Sometimes, it takes distancing yourself from those things that have been creating anxiety in you to truly heal.
Reach out to your support system.
Regularly check in with your family and friends, and ask them to hold you accountable for checking in regarding how you are feeling about body image pressures.
There are also a variety of resources online that can offer support as well. This includes:
- 10 Steps to a Positive Body Image (National Eating Disorders Association)
- Understanding Body Dysmorphic Disorder, BDD (Anxiety and Depression Association of America)
- Body Dysmorphic Disorder (John Hopkins University)
Enjoy a new activity.
Step away from the electronics to do something you enjoy. Go for a walk, take an art class, get dinner with a friend. Focus on what your body can do, not what it cannot do. Focus on activities that excite you and interest you, regardless of whether it will bring about a body change or not.
Editor’s note: This article was originally published on the Lily-Jo Project blog and is reprinted here with permission.
