Practical Back-to-School Tips From Local Experts

Paul Schurr has four kids — from elementary to college age — so he’s had a fair bit of practice getting kids to do homework. For over ten years, he has also been co-owner, with his wife, Mona, of Firefly Tutoring, where they help kids from kindergarten through high school with science, math, reading and test prep. Here are Schurr’s top 10 tips for making homework helpful, instead of hellish.

1. Don’t wait for the back-to-school crush

You don’t have to turn summer into an extra quarter of school, but to avoid the summer slide, don’t abandon learning altogether. “What I like about summer tutoring is that it’s less frantic,” says Schurr. Without homework deadlines, learning can find its own steady pace and follow kids’ interests.

2. Don’t overschedule

If the only time left for homework is the last 15 minutes before bed, everyone will be in too big of a rush to just get it done. Squeezing homework into the leftover cracks between scheduled activities leaves kids too tired to focus and parents too stressed to be helpful.

3. Make sure homework is useful

There’s a lot of discussion about how long kids should spend on their homework, and controversy over whether homework is even appropriate for lower grades. Schurr isn’t sure those are the right questions. “Homework shouldn’t be figuring out the hard stuff — it’s practice,” he says. “Homework exercises should be focused on practicing what they know to develop fluency. For some topics, especially math, even 10 minutes of practice makes a world of difference.”

4. Know your kid

Schurr prefers a schedule of coming home, eating a snack and then doing homework before having free time. “But kids are different. Know if yours needs dinner first or gets too sleepy if they wait that late,” he says. The important thing is not when they do homework, but that they have a fixed time and place for doing it. “Draw a line around the time and place where homework happens,” says Schurr. It helps with time management skills and it’s psychologically easier to not have homework hanging over their head for the rest of the day.

5. Let kids do their own work

Some kids want you right there with them on every problem, and it’s tempting to check their work and fix mistakes. But it’s more useful for teachers to see kids’ mistakes, so they know what they aren’t getting. It’s better for kids, too. “Unless they are really lost, it’s good for kids to struggle a bit and earn the accomplishment,” explains Schurr. Freeing up your own time is a fringe benefit.

6. Do your own work

Kids should do their own work, but you also want to keep an eye on their progress. Not to mention the screams of injustice if you plop them at the kitchen table with a stack of worksheets while you plop on the couch to watch “Chopped.” Most of us have work that we usually put off until the kids are in bed, whether it’s spillover from our paying jobs, making meal plans or paying bills. Sit down next to your kids when they are doing homework and work on your own tasks. That way, you’re modeling the behavior you want from them and making a dent in your own to-do list. And you’re still close enough to see when they are struggling and answer questions when they need help.

7. Answer questions with questions

It’s good to let kids work, but “it’s not productive if kids are upset and the experience is negative,” says Schurr. When kids are really stuck, it’s right to help out. But instead of rescuing them with an answer, try asking leading questions that will help them reach the correct answer themselves. “I try to help kids understand why what they are learning is interesting. It’s not just about getting to the answer.”

8. Know when to back off

We’ve all seen that deer-in-the-headlights look. The near-tears face that says a kid’s body is in the chair, but their mind has left the building. That’s when it’s time to back off. “Stop talking about that thing,” says Schurr. Don’t try to work through their anxiety and your frustration. Take a break, eat a snack, talk about something else for a few minutes. “Try to remember when you were young and didn’t understand things that are obvious now.” When you go back to the homework, start on solid ground and build from what they already understand and work up to the problem.    

9. Talk to the teacher

Bad homework days are inevitable, and there’s no need to get worked up about a single failed assignment. But if not understanding the homework is becoming a pattern, talk to your child’s teacher and make a plan to help get him back on track. Especially at the elementary level, teachers know their students really well and want to work with parents to make sure kids excel. For older kids, it may be a more appropriate first step to encourage them to talk with their teachers themselves.

10. Get help

“You have a limited amount of time with your kids every day. Sometimes it’s better to do something together and let someone else do the homework help,” says Schurr. Tag-team with another parent, or hire a tutor if necessary. But if tutoring is not accessible, get creative. Is a grandparent good at math (or just very patient)? Many schools have free before- and after-school tutoring programs, as do public library branches. “The most important thing is for kids to have a positive relationship with learning,” says Schurr. 

Up next: Get your shop on: Julianna Poplin